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I've had this journal for 12 years. I've hardly blogged for 6 or so of them. I read a few of my first entries and wanted to vomit. I can't decide if it's from the abuse of slang, the naivete, or the sheer hope that I used to have is more upsetting.

I've joined comment_fic in hopes that writing tiny little bits of writing will help bolster my terrible writing work ethic, because, despite everything, I still hold an illusion that I can write fic, even if most of it never sees light of day, aside from the friend I write it for/with, and is the actor equivalent of bad bandfic. Though I will say we both have grown as writers.

I don't know if anyone's left who reads this, but if you do, thanks.
I feel old, cold and alone and I really want to get shitfaced right now.

Mar. 23rd, 2015

Staying up tonight to watch James Corden's first night on The Late Late Show. I'll never quite be over Craig Ferguson leaving, but I'm okay with James. I nonetheless am sitting here, remembering the days when I'd stay up at least 3 or 4 nights a week to watch the LLS, despite then having a real job and having to be up at 7. How did I do it? I used to have people to talk to (IM). Where did they go? Ugh. (Also I'm cheating on James and watching Fallon until it starts but mostly because Brandon Flowers is the musical guest)

Do I even sign these anymore?

Feb. 27th, 2015

It's been a long time since I went though my hardcore Star Trek:TOS phase, but it's always been with me. I'm the kind of person who, when they fall for a fandom, tend to fall for actors too, and get to know their work and thoughts as much as possible. I read all the autobiographies for the cast that had written them, but Leonard Nimoy's always stuck with me as just being good, rounded read, as diverse as the man himself was. Spock was always my favorite, followed closely by Bones. Today aches, and my heart goes out to his family. May recovery (such as it ever is) come quickly to them, and may they have peace and long lives yet.

Leonard, live long in the stars, and proper.

Apr. 26th, 2014

My goal this year is to do something so I have something to write about in here. Is that sad that that's my motivation?

I made a thing!

Aha. I did it. I made a fanwork, and posted it for the public (or at least the community) to see. It probably isn't that great as my musical taste needs work but I am kinda of stupid proud. (More proud that I stumbled into something approaching cover art without Photoshop) Man, there are a lot of photo editors online out there.

haha oh boy.

Trying to distract myself from a crumbling best friend relationship and further my flagging creativity, I've signed up to participate in two big bangs. What have I done? One as a writer, one as an artist (since 'artist' here includes fanmix, I think I can squeak by). This should be interesting. Also, I have to run a refresher on making posts to communities. 
Trying to make a famix cover with NO software/artistic talent is maddening.

Oct. 1st, 2013

ahahahaha in my attempt to make myself be creative, I've signed up for a fanmix community. My first mix is to be of myself and I'm already panicking. Do I go with my questionable music tastes or actually try to tell a story? Make it extensively out of Killers songs? aahhhahhha what have I done?
GUESS WHO'S SEEING DANNY ELFMAN SING ON HALLOWEEN??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????